#JxY_ | Of Relationships and Timeline

Friday, April 24, 2015

as the clock goes tick tock, you begin to ask yourself "is this the relationship i want to be in? is it time to settle down? should i wait longer before officially dating him? is it too fast for us to get married?" and the list goes on and on.

relationships are risks, it is all about intuition, feelings and personal preference. it is not "how i want my dream guy to look like or be". it is east for others to look at you and judge.

you think that some may start off too fast and then you doom that their relationship is going to fail. but what about the couples who waited for 5 or 10 years before getting married and end up failing? but who are others to judge your relationship? where did all these rules of relationships/settling down come from?


why are we wasting our time waiting when we've been spending all our lives praying and waiting for it to come? why deny when you've found it? why doubt that you're rushing into it when the spark has strike? just because there are rules to follow?

from time to time, relationship to relationship, one thing that i've learnt about falling in love is that isn't any timeline to it. once you've found it, cling on to it and don't let it go because life is too short to waste that chance. there’s no perfect timing nor it is a rushed event. all there is is that gut feeling you either ignore or you embrace.


to think about it, i've once waited 2 years before i decided to talk about settling down in which that relationship ended up as a failure while in my current relationship it only took us a week to get to know one and another before going steady and with a five months down the road, now in plans of settling down.

so i'm probably gonna hear lots of rumours going around. but hey, there is so much more for me to care than being judged (because it is human nature to judge no matter what).

1. IT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP, NOT THEIRS
be it they want to judge you based on how long you've just broken up before settling into a new relationship or how long you both have been together before having talks about settling down. and the person judging you definitely needs to look into his/her relationship or GET A LIFE!

2. EACH RELATIONSHIP IS DIFFERENT WITH THEIR OWN TIMING
some wait before settling down while others strike their sparks in a moment of time. there isn't a way you can time a relationship because you can't measure love. no one knows when it's going to hit you in the face, so why tell yourself that "i won't be in a relationship until i'm 28" or "i will wait until we've dated for 3 years before deciding if we should get married or not"?

3. NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND YOUR RELATIONSHIP
because it is yours and not theirs. work it within your ways with your other half and not the way how others would perceive your relationship to be. because they can go all day saying "but they've only dated for half a year and they are getting married? isn't that too fast?" 

4. MISTAKES HAPPEN AND YOU GROW FROM IT
you're not the god/goddess of a relationship. you fail and learn to love again. it is a risk where you just go on and trial and error before realizing what's meant for you and vice versa.

5. YOU NEED NOT PLEASE OTHERS, JUST YOURSELF
like i've said, it is your relationship. it doesn't matter how many "LIKES" you've garnered on facebook or any social media. be it if anyone wants to judge. what's most important is you both are happy with your relationship.

6. IDEAL VS ACTUAL
because you can dream of the ideal relationship but actual relationships always defer from ideal. so go with the flow within your own pace instead of forcing everything to work within your ideal relationship.

7. CREATE MILESTONES, NOT TIMELINES
because you grow together, make decisions together and create milestones together. because you don't need a timeline to tell you how strong your relationship.

there are so many more reasons to list down. but most importantly is that no matter how others judge you, what's most important is your own happiness because it is yours. relationships are selfish because no one wants to share their other half with anyone else.

so remember, live laugh love and enjoy the ride.


i have to admit that falling in love with him within the shortest period of time surprised me as well. but i'm glad i've taken the journey with him. because it is our journey being in love with one another. it is how we've come to being together and learning from each other.

for all i know that penning this on my blog might invite hate comments and judging or what not. so be it.
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